There are probably a lot of people out there confused about what love really is. Well this probably isn’t going to help that confusion much but I hope to steer a few people, including myself, into the right direction. I say including myself because even I am often confused by the loves in my life. Actually to be more truthful, I have no problem with my love until I ask the damming question, why? When I try to put reason to the emotion everything seems to fall apart. I find that I have very few reasons to support the massive amounts of love I feel, but that doesn’t make the emotion any less real. I think the logiclessness, if that’s even a word, of emotion is what makes them what they are. Some call this capacity for love with no reason to Unconditional love.
Unconditional love is one of the most seldom celebrated ideas in the modern world. More and more people either refuse or feel incapable of loving without promise of something in return. The truth of the matter is if you hold your love back and refuse to share it without assurance that the recipient will return you affection is one of mankind’s downfalls. Notice the spirit of giving has all but disappeared and Christmas has become a retail paradise and a materialistic free for all. Everything has become a barter system. “I’ll love you if you love me back.” “I got you a gift, what did you get me?” I can see the why’s of people acting in such a conditional manner but I can’t understand the necessity. Who told the entire world that everything is a commodity to be traded? That’s a belief that should probably be rethought.
When people trade something like love instead of giving it freely as I believe was intended, then the honesty disappears. Love becomes something that must be sought and kept at all costs, not to mention something to be envious of. Some will even stoop to deviousness to capture and keep a loved one close by, either as a trophy piece or as a filler so nobody will think they aren’t good enough to get the love that so many people are looking for. When anything causes a feeling of inadequacy such as this it is almost always bound for bad things to happen. People see others in love and unless they are in as joyous a relationship they tend to feel either alone or angry or even disgusted at the couples public display, or maybe even gloating, of their emotion together. Such regards should be celebrated not despised or coveted. Yet for some reason it is these very emotion that a public display of affection conjures in those surrounding the act.
I’m sure it would be a lot easier if we all had some event or some one to blame for the perversion of something as pure and honest as love but as with the rest of life it’s anything but easy. We have nothing to blame and can only try to reverse the damage that society has inflicted on this great emotion. As ambassadors for All-Faith Spirituality we need to remind people that love is not a commodity and is often best when served with warmth and honesty in large quantities for absolutely no profit or return. When people give their money to a charity they have many reasons for their generosity but the best reason is that warm feeling they get along with the sense of pride that they are helping out. This warm feeling deep in your heart is a great reason to do anything, and often the only reason anyone should need. If more people worried about themselves less and more about the people and environment they are effecting there may be less violence in the world. This of course is no guarantee that love will fix all the worlds problems but it couldn’t hurt.
Given all this, its no wonder that so many people get horribly confused about love. When we are inundated with concepts of lust and told that all this baloney is love, it should be no surprise at all. I promise you all that true love does not come in a Helzberg’s box or even a Victoria’s Secret outfit. The thought behind these items may be pure but that beautiful diamond or skimpy negligee is only a symbol of the love the presenter has for you. If there is any reason other than trying to portray their love in the form of a gift then be wary. I have seen many give gifts in hopes to create the love they are trying to symbolize. They seem to think that if they impress someone enough then they will just accidentally fall in love with them. This is an example of that deviousness I referred to earlier. If you are a couple then try giving gifts that represent your love together, otherwise you are trying to make love conditional again. Instead of expecting love in return for your love, you expect love in return for gifts. I give my wife gifts from time to time but they are in no way a replacement for the millions of times I remind her how much I love her. Instead they are my way of attempting to put into words or objects the extent of my love for her and in most cases they are items that simply remind me of our love together. Then again in my case there are no words or earthly possessions that can come even close to symbolizing.
I can’t even begin to tell anyone how to find what my wife and I have together. I cant even promise that the same feeling is waiting for each and every one of you. What I can do is urge everyone to search their hearts and find that love. Once you find it, the best way to keep a hold of it is to give it away like it was going out of style. You don’t have to love everyone like you would love a spouse but don’t hesitate to appreciate those that directly or even indirectly affect you and make certain they are aware of your appreciation. I have some experience with this and when you show some appreciation to someone from the bottom of your heart, they tend to react warmly and in many cases are very thankful that you noticed them at all. People seem to want to be noticed more than anything else and by letting them know you appreciate them can make a persons day. By feeling free to do this you are demonstrating your love for all people and their contribution, no matter how slight, to your life. It really is an excellent way to practice honest and pure loving.
Granted some will look at you funny and wonder what types of anti-psychotic medication you forgot to take, but their reaction is not to be unexpected. Don’t forget that the majority of people are still under the mindset that love is something you reserve for family or spouses and should never be given out unless there is a high probability that it will be returned in full. While people insist on love remaining conditional, our attempts to freely express our love and appreciation may be met with resistance. Don’t let this deter you from sharing your love with as many people as you feel the urge. Believe me, being considered strange or a freak is not always a bad thing, especially when normality consists of dysfunction and fear of violence. In today’s society being out of the status quo can easily be considered a good thing and the freakishly positive people can be comfortable knowing that they are doing whatever they are able to make the world a friendlier place. Again this can cause a lot of confusion in those around you as well as yourself. Given where society comes from and what we’ve all been taught all our lives about love and affection, its easy to question our own capacity to love and to be loved. The trick is to realize that it doesn’t really matter how much you are loved and simply be embraced by the satisfaction that you are able to show those around you your love for them and even have the amazing capacity to share your amazing amount of unconditional love with those most special to your life. As my wife and those closest to me have said countless times, they are often amazed at my capacity to love others. I create this endless well of love I have by making sure it never goes stagnant. I share with whomever I can and try to make certain that people who affect me positively, or even some negatively, are made aware of their effects and thanked accordingly.
